Margaret Cho

During her recent get-out-the-vote tour, everyone's favourite Asian-American compared John Kerry to an Ent, the tree-people from Lord of the Rings, because he's so tall.

'But wouldn't you so much rather have a tree than a bush?'

She also said that Teresa Heinz Kerry had a Mrs Robinson-like quality about her and was sexy, especially in comparison to Laura: 'you KNOW her pussy smells like Lysol.'